christmas cookies

“”O, dear me! Christmas is a bore! Such a rush and crush in the streets, such a jam in the shops, and then _such_ a fuss thinking up presents for everybody! All for nothing, too; for nobody Wants anything. I’m sure _I_don’t.”
– Deacon Pitkin’s Farm (1875) Harriet Beecher Stowe

I love Christmas. And for all those who ramble on about the “true spirit of Christmas” hogwash, remember that a lot of us don’t believe in the magic bearded guy and his hippie, overly-dramatic son/incarnation.

So if you took away Santa and Frosty and all that stuff, you’d lose a bunch of us who just like a time of showing people what they mean to us, spending time with family, and watching Charlie Brown and Rudolph, and smiling.

I came across this quote the other day and thought it was fitting:

Kris Kringle: “This is quite an opportunity for me. For the past 50 years or so I’ve been getting more and more worried about Christmas. Seems we’re all so busy trying to beat the other fellow in making things go faster and look shinier and cost less that Christmas and I are sort of getting lost in the shuffle.” Miracle on 34th Street (1947)

ahem … 1947 …

Christmas has been celebrated in its current form for less than 200 years, and people have been complaining just about as long about how it isn’t what it once was.

Let it go. It’s a secular holiday with roots in Christian and pagan ceremonies. Like Halloween. Only with presents.

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The true meaning behind some of your favorite Christmas Carols:

I’ll be home for Christmas: no, he won’t (“if only in my dreams”)

12 Days of Christmas: I know what you are about to say and no, it isn’t coded Catholic dogma. It’s a song about getting a stupid amount of gifts over the 12 days of Christmas (Xmas day through the Twelfth Night on Jan 5-6). Curiously, 2 Turtledoves is the sacrifice made to the Lord on behalf of Jesus following his birth (Luke 2:24).

Jingle Bell Rock: small bells were once a rock n roll instrument (“to rock the night away”)

Grandma got run over by a Reindeer: No one really misses grandma

white Christmas: segregation … just kidding. it’s nostalgia for a mythical “better time” cause now things suck. (“just like the ones I used to know”)

Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas: The opposite – things used to suck but it’s all about to turn around. (“soon all our troubles will be out of sight”)

Let it snow, let it snow: premartial sex
It’s Cold outside: premarital sex
Walking in a winter wonderland: premarital sex
I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus: post-marital sex
Backdoor Santa: extra-marital sex
Here Comes Santa Claus: It’s about Santa. what the hell is wrong with you?

Also: The only Biblical reference to the date of Jesus birth is Luke 2:8 “there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night”. Which means the flock was in the field, not in the corrals. Which only happens in the spring.

Happy Christmas!!!!